Crossroads

There are times in our lives when we think we are alone... Often at those times we find ourselves at a crossroad.. At points like this, many of us may have given up or are feeling like they are losing at the game of Life and are contemplating which road to take.. Let me describe what it looks like for those who have not been there.. From the person's standpoint of view, there are two roads which splits in a V, the road on the right is a short and smooth road and the road on the left is long and bumpy. The short and smooth road leads to an exit off the highway of Life, or Death, if you call it. The other road, the long and bumpy road, is the highway of Life itself. Many of us have found ourselves at this point at several points during our lives. We often arrive at this point because we felt stressed or depressed, or worse, alone and unloved.. Some of us may have felt like an outcast and felt cut off from the society because of who we are or what gender we love. When faced with this choice, some felt and thought they could not continue any longer and decided to take the exit.. Some, like me, despite temptations to take the exit, ultimately chose to keep going on the long and bumpy road. Why did I choose the long and bumpy road? I chose the long and bumpy road because like all roads, it cannot keep being bumpy, it will gradually get better. And I was fortunate to get two important tools in my journey on the road of life as a Gay Adult. What are the two tools and how do I get them? You may be asking yourself this as you read this. The truth is, you may already have them. One is the map, the map is drawn by advices from friends and people who care about you and your hopes and dreams. The second tool is the guideposts left by those by those who, like, me and you, struggled with life, and succeeded. I am still on this long road and it is less bumpy than before because of the great tools I have. I have an advice for those who are at the crossroads, keep driving, it will get better!

Stop In The Name of Love!

Why did I take the title from the well known song by The Supremes? Well.. I wanted to talk about Love.. Yes, The disease that has people doing crazy things like parachuting down to propose to their significant others or screaming our lungs out like Tarzan.... As most of you know... College is a time where people who have not found who they are, examine themselves, or those who think that they know who they are, reexamine themselves.. Before I came to Gallaudet, I was not confident with who I thought I was.. Sure, I thought I was destined to be a teacher, but I found out that I was actually an artist.. That's a different story altogether... As I learned more about myself.. I looked around me and I realized that I was missing something... Love...
Dont get me wrong.. I am loved by many friends and families, hell, I found an awesome family here at Gallaudet... I might write another post on the wonderful family later if they will let me.. Theres a famous quote that sums up my feelings and thus saving you another paragraph, "Even though I am surrounded, I still feel alone.." I examined and struggled with the concept of love and I, like millions of other people, still dont understand the wonderful concept of love that has people becoming insane.... I wonder everyday, What does it feel like to be loved by someone who will always be by my side? I can only hope to find out the answer down the road....

2 years update

Since I first fully came out in 2008, I am now in college, at Gallaudet University in Washington, DC. I have nearly embraced my Gay identity, this is partly due to a wonderful organization at Gallaudet University, Rainbow Society, Through RS I was able to interact with other Gay Deaf people and I am just now arriving from a weekend long conference, called Colorfest, Gallaudet University sponsored my trip to Rochester, New York to attend the conference at National Technical Institute for the Deaf, (NTID). I will be devoting the next two blogs to two large GLBT experiences I have had. One is Colorfest 2010 and the another is Corpus Christi, a play I am currently acting in and it will take place at Gallaudet University on April 8-10, 2010. More details upcoming.

Victory!

Today as most of you might have already heard or seen, we won a hard fought case against Proposition 8. While we celebrate our hard earned victory, we must not stop fighting, we owe it to our past generation who perished before fully realizing their dreams. We owe it to the future generations to live securely in this grand land that we call America. I ask you, the advocates, the activists, the community to reflect on the victory and to prepare for the huge fight ahead of us!

Who I am

Wow, It has been a while since I wrote on this particular blog. I was really busy with developing a ACTUAL LIFE that I have COMPLETE control of. The reason I am trying to "break free" is that, my parents would be described as deeply Conservative whilst I would describe myself as a Radical Liberal.. I feel that I cannot adhere to my parents' beliefs for obvious reasons. I am empowered enough to be actually declare myself as Openly gay. I am not afraid to embrace who I am. I do not care for what other people think of Gays. I follow my own heart and few advices from trusted sources.. Capsice? I went through an extremely tough process that nearly tore me up and made me consider taking my own life several times. but thanks to few people who are close to me, I am past that tough and emotional phrase. As a result of my friends who worked awfully hard and sacrificed a lot for my sake, I am now, a empowered individual who is not afraid of what I may face out there in the world, because I know I have many friends who can help me conquer the horrible things. Together We can empower! More on the Deaf Prism Experience, coming up!

Coming Out

I have had several experiences, both good and bad of Coming Out of the Closet. I still remember the very first time I came out of the closet. It was to a trusted friend who encouraged me to be honest with myself. When I first came out. I had mixed feelings but as I finally outed myself to him, I begun feeling empowered. I decided to set a goal, the goal was to be completely out. I knew I was looking at several obstacles but I knew I could overcome them. I decided to come out to several groups before actually coming out to my family.
I came out to several close friends and classmates who accepted me as who I was. I felt even more empowered and confident in my identity. I then came out to my teachers who accepted me as I was. Some of them even offered advice to be confident in myself. I was prepared to come out to my family.
When the time came, I decided to tell my mom and her family because I felt closer to her than my father. I came out to them, there was some tension but they eventually accepted me as I was. However, my Father and his family was the completely opposite, they blasted it. I decided that I could not convince them to accept me as I am, I decided to leave it for a while. I just wish I could hear " You are my son, no matter who you are" Gay or not Gay, you are welcome.